The 35th President of the United States John Fitzgerald Kennedy's head exploded during his motorcade drive through Dallas, Texas, at 1:00p.m. yesterday afternoon. Police suspect Maxwell P. Rebo, beloved musician, to be the perpetrator of this horrific crime. His motives are currently unknown and abstract, simply claiming it is for the best. As the motorcade traveled slowly through downtown Dallas, three crackling noises were heard, similar to gunshots. At this same time, the President's head suddenly disappeared in a small but firey explosion.